Hate

I will admit, Derek has done some pretty awful things to me, and yes I have been hurt, but I don't hate him. I hate what he did and I hate that I let him devastate me, however I don't hate him. I know this probably sounds crazy but in reality he has helped me learn things about myself that I don't think I would have if he did not walk into my life.

I have learned that I am a strong girl, that no one can pull me down and make me feel like nothing. No matter what life throws at me, I know that I can handle it. Sure I may be knocked down from time to time but I will always get back up on my feet and prove that I have what it takes to handle anything. I now know the red flags and I know what I want in a guy. I want a strong man that is weak for me.

I don't want a boy who will play games and treat me like his little doll, I want a man that will protect me, one that will take care of me. I deserve a guy who will add to my life and make it better, not one who makes it worse. I have always been an independent girl and I am not going to let Derek ruin that.

So, Derek, if someday you come accross this blog and find this, just know that I will be okay with our without you. I don't need you in my life to be happy. I am actually sad for you because I know that you won't be truly happy if you aren't messing with somebody's heart. My only question is, how can you sleep at night knowing that you are playing with someone's emotions? How were you able to text me knowing that everything you have ever told me was a lie? Did it get tiring keeping up with all of the stories?

And to whomever is reading this, just know that you will come across plenty of "Derek's" in your life but you can overcome it. Sure, it is humiliating and devestating at first but when you come out the other side of it all, you will be a better, stronger person. Don't let low life losers make you feel bad about yourselves, you are unique and amazing in your own way and no one can take that from you.

I am posting this because I finally got the nerve to offically and finally end all contact with Derek and the relief I felt was amazing. I will still post stories about what he did because hopefully I can help someone. I just want everyone reading this to know that there is only one person who can break you, and that is you.

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Comments (2)

  1. nevonna07

    derrick must know my sons father. He sounds just like him. He broke my heart and tore out my soul. He came into my life and flipped my whole world upside down. I allowed him to take everything I worked hard for and now I’m left to start all over. I definitely understand how you feel. The messed up part is my son is 2 months as of Tuesday. He hurt me bad and I’m now trying to get over it all and move on. 3 years of lies, deceit, and pain. He actually has been apologizing but the hurt is so deep. I’m just ready to move on. I’m ready to pick the pieces to my life.

    July 13, 2015
    1. stronggirl

      Just know that what comes around goes around. You are a strong woman and he had no right coming into your life and hurting you the way he did. If it helps at all, know that eventually someone will hurt him the way he hurt you. I know you will be able to pick up the pieces and have a great life with your son, don’t let him get the best of you!

      July 13, 2015